Mi Ahn Hae Yo
by Razer Athane
Summary: Before what may be his final hours, Hwoarang writes a letter to Baek -- 'And in my time of need, you are the origin of my strength, Seongsaeng.' -Oneshot-


Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Tekken.

Author's Note: Been sick lately and had a few fights with friends. Well not serious fights but "wtf" moments and stuff. Though this was an idea I've had at the front of my mind for a fair, fair while. More so the latter than the former, but it was the former that got the writing gears turning again, for everything o.o XD We know what happens when we combine a long-boiling idea, along with emotion, right? We get a random oneshot from yours truly XD I'll be doing a companion piece to this story too, btw, in the future. Enjoy :)

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**MI AHN HAE YO**

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Hey,

You know I'm bad at starting letters and stuff, because I just suck like that. So I'll just try and keep it casual for a while, I suppose. Just for a while.

How are you? How have you been? Not too worried I hope. You don't need to worry about me, because I'm fine. I'm just fine, I'm okay, everything's good. Though I admit, I've been worried about you. Never thought you'd hear me say that, eh? Okay well, not hear_, _but see_._ You can't see me or whatever but you can see what I've written on this nice sheet of paper in my messy, messy handwriting. I hope you can read this well enough because my hand's pretty much shaking, and I think I just smudged half the sentence with my hand. As I said before, I suck.

And that, Seongsaeng, is an atrocious way to start an apology note.

Geez... where to start.

Well first of all I apologise for breaking the window with the soccer ball when I was ten. I think that was the first screw-up that I ever did when you were in my life. I promised I'd pay you back but I didn't have any money at the time. You told me not to worry about it, because it was an accident. Yeah well... it may have been an accident, but I still wish I paid you back, or could pay you back. I kinda don't have a job at the moment. Or, well, one that you would approve of, to say the least. If you catch my drift. Whiiich I hope you're not... Do you remember that, though? Of course you would. You were pleasantly... infuriated. Angry that I tried to cover it up, but happy that I eventually told you, I guess.

And that is called 'rambling'.

Look... I know we've been out of touch for a fair while. I ran away about... a year ago now. I can't believe its been a whole year since I last spoke with you. Since I last laughed with you. Since I last showed off my natural talent and would look up to see you shaking your head with that sly grin. Since I made you something to eat and you laughed at the fact that I had somehow, and I quote, "lit the water on fire"; and then would stand by my side and show me how to make the damn thing correctly. Since I last was around the person I may as well have called my Abeoji.

...I don't know why I ran away, Seongsaeng. But I regret every second of it. I was wrong to take you for granted. Everything you ever did for me, everything you ever showed me... I took it for granted. I may as well have pissed in your pocket. I thought I could handle everything on my own, but... I couldn't. I can't. Being the nineteen-year-old I am though, I was bound to think I could. I don't know why I thought that but... you warned me about how hard life would be if I stepped outside that door and never looked back. And you were right. You warned me about how some things would get the best of me, and I wouldn't be able to control myself. And again, you were right. I've been thrown in jail twice now, both times for physical assault. I was released the first time with a warning. The second time, the people decided not to press charges.

I made it up to them though. The ones who didn't press charges. I mean the first guy, he attacked me first, but in this situation it was just completely out of hand. I was wrong. With your wise words in my head, I taught their two infant children, and their teenage son (the guy I beat up) the basics of Tae Kwon Do. I passed on your knowledge to them. Through me, you've shown others how to defend themselves - and you've never even met them. I did it for you, you know? It was the right thing to do. I mean, you would've had me repay them some other way, whether that's by cleaning their gutters for a month or whatever but... I don't have anything that I can give them except the art of fighting. And they took it.

Knowing how you think and everything, I doubt you missed me, and that's fine. I was just annoying. Just another mouth to feed, more cash to lose. A stubborn child. And from my perspective, I didn't miss you originally. You were just overbearing. An authority I didn't want to follow, a cap on the won. An obstinate adult. But look at me now. The inconsiderate... 'adeul', writing his 'Abeoji' a letter of apology, amongst other things. Because these words on here, they're my heart and soul, Seongsaeng. They're the things I never got to say, and the things you could always see. They're the things I thought, and the things you unquestioningly knew. Things I was going through, and things you had already been through.

I feel like an idiot, Seongsaeng.

"Then come back," you say. I can hear you saying it now. I can see you saying it. Your eyebrows are firmly pushed together, a scowl's on your face, but you're hiding a sympathetic look. You want me to come back. You want our so called 'gajok' to come back together again. There might only be two of us, but its better than being alone, right? Because then there's someone to count on and stuff - you don't have to just rely on yourself. I guess I did get through to you after all, because way back when, you used to tell me that we were both better off without each other. Then time pushed us together and forced us to accept each other. Even care about each other.

The lonely sonyeon, without an Abeoji. The secluded sanae, without an adeul. Both have no gajok. So we made our own.

I do want to come back. But I have an obligation to another gajok now, and I can't leave them. Though, I shouldn't have left you in the first place over something as petty as that argument. So what if I misbehaved at school and got fired from my job? So what if I can't use my motorbike as punishment for that? So what if my girlfriend cheated on me? So what if the world felt like it was crashing around me? I was in a better place then than I am now, for sure. I had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on, food to eat, and a caring person watching over me, pointing me in the right direction. I might've screwed up a test, but that person, after many 'stop playing games and study more' speeches, would encourage me to keep going. He'd even sit next to me and try to help me out.

Now I'm the head of the gajok. I'm the one looking after all these other people around me, making sure they're alive and breathing. I have the skies crying above me, a cold wall to rest myself against, scraps for nourishment, and with an arsenal of whores, assholes and innocents shoving me this way and that. I have to point them in the right direction, and most of the time they don't listen. And every time I try to sit next to them and help them out, or discuss whatever, they turn away and proclaim that their lives mean nothing to nobody. That there is no hope. That the light at the end of the tunnel will never come. That everyone is doomed, confined to the streets that they now blunder through in drunken despair. Him and her. Them and us. Me and you.

I'm the sonyeon in tattered clothing, stealing your spare change. I'm the sanae with a knife to throat, demanding everything of value that's on you. And I am ashamed of it. I don't want this life.

With all the wars going on in the streets here... Seongsaeng, I don't even know if I'll be alive in a week. I'm going up against a tough opponent. He's already killed a few close to me, and if I get rid of him, well... I'll be free, so to say. I can come back. Those around me will also be free, and that is something I want to give to them. It's just... _Geez,_ I hope that you'll read this. Don't look at the sender's name and shake your head in disgust. Don't look at my writing, roll your eyes and tear up the paper. Everything I've written here... I mean every word. Every single line, every single word... even the thoughts that never made it onto here. I mean everything. I really, really do. I know I'm not like the lonely sonyeon I once was, the one you took in. But as time moved on... Well... Where as I got through to you, you got through to me as well. I got you to embrace company. You got me to embrace my feelings. I can't thank you enough for that, y'know? I feel alive. It doesn't matter how close to death I actually am.

In times of fear, you think about those you hold dearest to you. Those who you love. Those who changed your life. And in my time of need, you are the origin of my strength, Seongsaeng. And as I fold up this paper, with my heart and soul bared, and cautiously put it in the envelope, I'm left with the memories of the only gajok that mattered. I'm left with the love, hope and inspiration that only you could fill me with. Like an abeoji to an adeul. And I carry them close to me, caged in my arms, fighting the bitter cold, leading myself to what may be my death; I'm left with only one thing to say.

Mi ahn hae yo, Seongsaeng...Mi ahn hae yo.

Always,

Your _haksaeng._

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_The romanization system used for these Korean words is "Revised Romanization", **not** the "McCune-Reischauer" Method.__  
Below are translations in order of story appearance, checked against 'wiktionary' and other websites.  
These seemed the most suitable (there's always more than one way to say these things XD).  
I'm **not **__Korean, so please correct me if these are wrong in the context of the story._

Seongsaeng - Teacher  
Abeoji - Father  
Gajok - Family  
Adeul - Son  
Won - Korean currency  
Sonyeon - Boy  
Sanae - Man  
Mi Ahn Hae Yo - I'm sorry  
Haksaeng - Student


End file.
